FilmRoar

It bugged me at first that the trailers for the new Tim Burton animated film Corpse Bride (2005) used music from his previous creation The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993), but after seeing the movie I realize the construction of the trailer is very appropriate as Corpse Bride is little more than a poor sequel to Nightmare. Or rather it is what would happen some Hollywood exec were to decide they could make a few bucks by marrying Nightmare and the much earlier Vincent (1982) to produce a bastard child with the look of both but none of the originality or charm of either.

The story of Corpse Bride is utterly predictable. Young Vincent… err I mean Victor has grown up (some) since his ‘82 debut and is bethrowed to the very Victorian daughter of a very proper family. Both Vincent’s fishmonger parents and the delightfully designed parents of young Victoria (Helena Bonning-him Carter) break out into a song on the upcoming wedding at the beginning of the movie. Not that either the music or the lyrics are memorable, an unfortunate problem that will prevail through the rest of the film. Soon after Vincent… god I mean Victor sings a depressed song and accidentally marries a corpse instead. You can imagine the rest, and in doing so will probably do a better job than the writers.

Interesting set and character designed are overshadowed by a pathetic Peter Lorre impersonation, cheap puns and moments of unnecessary slapstick. The Danny Elfman score sounds like an uninspiring regurgitation of previous work that is quickly forgotten. On the plus side there is a moment were Vince… I mean Victor plays a beautiful melody on a ‘ Harryhausen‘ piano and is accurately animated to hit the correct keys. I would generally recommend a title like this only to Burton fans, but in this case must insist that even the fans steer clear in order to retain an idealistic image based on the more deserving previous works.

It’s kind of like Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) meets Gremlins (1984)… no wait, better make that Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991) meets Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990). In this Alex Winter / Tim Burns (An American Werewolf in Paris (1997)) / Tom Stern creation, Ricky (Winters) is coerced to promote an evil corporation’s plans to use a toxic chemical in South America. While en route our hero and his best friend runs into an environmentalist protestor and winds up prisoner of a mad scientist/freak show baker (played with no reservations by Randy Quaid) and is turned into a side-show freak. Weirded out yet? Wait, it gets better! Rounding our the cast are Brooke Shields, Mr. T, Bob Goldthwait, Joe Baker and (in an uncredited role Keanu Reeves. Now there is a gold-mine for playing Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.

With the new 2-disc DVD release, Freaked (1993) is hoping to become a cult favorite, and it is quirky and imaginative enough that it just might make it. The discs are well crafted and rich with extras, some of which (like hours of rehersal footage) are more filler than content. I did greatly enjoy though an early Tom Stern / Alex Winter short ‘Squeal of Death’ shot in a Tex Avery over the top style.

I doubt the movie will ever realize any wide appeal, simply because there are only so many people out there who go for leading men that keep squirting puss out of facial eruptions and a string of sight gags and puns. The reason it might hit big on a small audience though is that the squirting puss and other costumes are all terribly well crafted and the sight puns and gags are, for the most part, quite funny in an early ’80s Bob Goldthwait movie kind of way. I personally enjoyed parts of the movie, mostly marveling at the rich sets and design on what was obviously a small budget but honestly I think you have to do a lot more drugs to really get Freaked.

The plot of The Transporter (2002) is…. wait, forget about plot, the screenwriters did and it seemed to have worked for them. Let’s start this review again from the top. The Transporter (2002) is a movie about driving fast… and fighting… and cars. Did I mention the cars and the fighting? Well they are both spectacular.

Jason Statham (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998), Snatch. (2000), The Italian Job (2003)) kicks ass both figuratively and literally as an ex-special forces lone wolf type whose current job is to quickly transport outside the law types and cargo. The movie opens with a fast paced many-crashes trip through the French Riviera that introduces the two main characters in the movie, Frank (Statham) and his 7-series BMW. A few car chases later Statham gets down to what he excels at: Jet Li style ‘I can’t believe they just did that’ fighting with such grace and charisma it looks like championship dancing. Statham (who does most of his own stunts) has enough screen presence and gravitas to carry the movie… almost. The lack of a good script and predictable tought guy falling for the girl (Qi Shu) make The Transporter only worth watching for the action.

If you are like me you might have seen the trailer for La Niña Santa (2004) and thought it looked like an enchanting movie of seduction, relationship and intrigue. Like me you see it is playing at the local art film house and decide you should not miss it. Well if you are anything like me you will be badly disappointed. I blame the trailer.

The trailer for The Holy Girl quotes other reviewers saying the movie has ‘great subtlety and intensity’, is ‘wickedly sharp’ and that ‘you leave the theatre in a state of quiet awe’. Subtlety, I will grant but there is nothing wicked, the movie is terribly dull and both myself and my two companions left the theater with a state of ‘what the fuck’ mixed in with ‘god that was boring’ and ‘can we change the subject to something a bit more interesting’. Worse still the trailer makes it seem that the girl (Amalia played by newcomer María Alche with some grace and intensity) is the principal character in the story but she turns out to be the least developed. The only character to be properly developed is her mother (Helena played by Mercedes Morán). A major plot problem develops around the third principal, the doctor (played by Carlos Belloso), who seems to be irresistible to the women around him for no apparent reason.

The intensity and excitement in the trailer is nowhere to be seen in this oddly cut Argentinean feature. There is one beautiful moment in the trailer where Amalia clears the water from her eyes and looks at Dr Jano who notices her with a worried look that is followed by a somewhat mischievous grin from Amalia. This scene never occurs! It is constructed from shots taken from three distinct parts of the movie and builds a kind interaction that would have been interesting to see in The Holy Girl but is entirely absent. To be honest to their audience they really should change their tag line to “Sometimes the desire for a good movie leads to the temptation to see a mediocre one.”

It is regrettable that the luscious thriller/horror flick In Dreams (1999) had to rely on so many tired movie clichés. Had the filmmakers the courage to let the story stand and be supported by the rich cinematography this could have been a great movie. Instead what we get is a sequence of events that look like a clips collage from other great thrillers.

In Dreams centers on the story of Claire Cooper (expertly executed by Annette Bening), a woman troubled with precognitive dreams of ghastly murders. Her frustrated husband Paul (Aidan Quinn) tries to support her, going to the police to describe the acts of a child murderer (Robert Downey Jr.) only to be blown off. When Claire has a vision of the murder of her own daughter the walls between reality and madness begin to collapse and the dreams spill out into her waking life. Realizing the only way to catch the murderer is to allow him full access to her mind Claire escapes from a mental hospital and follows his lead to the killer’s lair.

Most of the movie is spent in disturbingly paced intercuts between Claire’s life and her dreams. The dream sequences are rich with symbolism and interplay between cinematography and art direction. The plot unfortunately demands the audience set aside common set and accept a sequence of events barely worthy of a B-Horror slasher flick. The couple’s home is conveniently isolated from any neighbors and borders a creepy wood. Their dog for some reason has no qualms running out of the home on a stormy night to follow the killer providing a great excuse for our victim to run into the lonely woods. When Claire is interned at the local asylum she is for some reason put into the same room that the killer occupied years earlier. Worst of all the rich red apples that appear through the movie are all perfect and spotless as they flow out of the huge mill occupied by our supposed madman who incidentally seems to share certain mother fixations altogether too similar to those of the killer in Psycho (1960) and other past movies. Even Downey Jr.’s look is a bit too “hi, I am a psychotic killer” to be very believable.

In Dreams left me feeling like the cast, the Director of Photography (Darius Khondji (Delicatessen (1991), Se7en (1995), City of Lost Children (1995))), the Art Director (Martin Laing (True Lies (1994), Titanic (1997))) and Production Designer (Nigel Phelps) were all cheated out of a great movie by a poor script.and a mediocre director (Neil Jordan (The Crying Game (1992), Interview with the Vampire (1994)).

I was happy to receive an advanced screening ticket to see the new action flick Van Helsing (2004) last week. I entered the theater with low expectations for the massively over-advertised (read as in over-hyped) flick and can honestly say I was not disappointed. The action was unrelenting, the editing quick, the plot thin, the lines cheesy, the acting questionable, the directing laughable and overall it was a quite a bit of fun.
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The barrage of TV trailers for The New Guy (2002) made it look like a not funny, sophomoric, cliché-driven, stereotype-ridden stupid teen comedy. If you get a chance to see it though you will find it actually is a sometimes funny, sophomoric, cliché-driven, stereotype-ridden stupid teen comedy with some charm. Probably the greatest thing The New Guy has going for it is that the movie never takes itself too seriously. The movie takes a clue from the classic National Lampoon comedies or the new teen-movie parodies and decides to just have fun and let the actors ham it up in ridiculous scenes. Lead actor DJ Qualls lends a gentle charm and charisma that makes it easy to root for the lonely geek trying to gain peer recognition. He is helped by the ever so sexy Eliza Dushku (you may know her as Faith in the Buffyverse) who does not have much to do other than convince us that The New Guy has enough mojo to attract the most attractive girl in school. A lack of writing and screen chemistry makes it impossible to believe that Dushku is actually interested in our unlikely hero, instead her screen presence seems to serve only for the exploitation of her sexuality. That being said she does have the charisma to make even her inane scenes fun to watch. There is very little in The New Guy that could be considered to be of high quality, but as cheesy as the movie is, it is surprisingly entertaining.