King Arthur (2004)
August 30th, 2005 at 12:14 pm (Uncategorized, 1 - Pretty bad)
King Arthur (2004) is a fantasy made for role playing geeks and lovers of Keira Knightley’s midriff. [insert fog] However it makes the mistake of thinking that the fans don’t watch enough movies to tell a good one from a crappy one and will settle for big fights and crappy dialog of honor and deeds. Even worse [insert more fog here], it assumes the viewers know so little of history to put suspension of disbelief aside through loads of historical mistakes, a folly that would have been easier to accept had the movie not opened with a title card claiming inspiration from historical record [change fog to dramatic smoke]. The movie is beautifully photographed but has a plot like over-aged Swiss cheese: Rank, cheesy and full of holes.
Throughout the movie it is hard to tell whether Clive Owen’s flat expression is his signature stoicism or pure boredom with the lines he has to deliver. It is amusing to Owen (Arthur) ‘falling in love’ with Knightley (Guinevere), I think I may have even noticed him raise an eyebrow at one point but that could have been a trick of the light. The rest of his knights are all appropriately ruggedly-handsome but also seem to suffer from the understanding that the movie is bad enough that it does not deserve any acting effort [now mix dramatic fog and dramatic smoke to the point where you cannot make anything out]. They try, but what can you do when a dramatic rise in the score following a big camera sweep toward a waving flag take precedence over story. I mean it almost feels like a Jerry Bruckheimer popcorn flick… oh wait, it is a Bruckheimer flick. Well from the man that brought you Armageddon (1998), Coyote Ugly (2000), Pearl Harbor (2001) and Kangaroo Jack (2003), if your brain is addled enough to have thought those good movies then you might just enjoy King Arthur, otherwise just give this one a skip.
Eddie said,
September 2, 2005 at 7:26 am
Now now Leopoldo….It may have been a bad movie, but at least the plot however much it did not follow history was a good starting point.. Ok ok ok… never mind. This sucked big time. Perhaps we should now talk about another great King Arthur movie…. (First Knight)
What a great story…. Lancelot a man who live by his sword for money…GIVE ME A BREAK!
Please, tell me… Is they any true good movies that deals with King Arthur?
Python fan said,
October 12, 2005 at 12:26 pm
IMHO the best movie that deals with King Arthur has to be Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Juliet said,
February 27, 2006 at 7:30 am
(commenting on the picture above)
No one in their right mind would wear a dress like that in the fucking snow.
Jesus, use common sense. IT’S BLOODY SNOWING!
double bonus video poker electronic texas hold em poker plug n play said,
May 27, 2006 at 8:05 pm
exclude odorously binder veils Kristin glow … Thanks!!!
LALA said,
July 17, 2006 at 11:01 am
I totally agree with Juliet!! I’t is cold!!!! Anyway I enjoyed the veiw (wink, wink). Put some clothes on!!!
P.S I LOVE Lancelot!!
Gary said,
July 18, 2006 at 9:38 am
king arthur looks like a retardo just standing there.
FukmeLancelot said,
July 18, 2006 at 9:44 am
I love lancelot. Talk about Dessert. oh and Guinevier looks like a slut. HE’S MINE!!!!! Hope he is prepared for what I’m gonna do to him. (yummy in my tummy).
niobi said,
September 16, 2006 at 10:29 am
The film is awful!If they wanted to make a completely different story,they could have found an other title,”king arthur” misleads the audience…Though you may find this opinion far-feched,I also believe that the battles are a cheap lord of the rings imitation with no value of themselves(not that we can compare this masterpiece with king artur!)!I agree that lancelot is the best thing in the movie…
P.S I can’t stand another king arthur film after this!
jennaya and sharna said,
April 1, 2007 at 3:10 am
kiera knightely is a horse rider, ship jumper and street walker (slut who can’t act and whose real name is ana(rexic)) lancelot is not yours, he is ours we saw him first we bags him, you have no idea how to handle a man like that.
ps. who gives a shit what they wear they have been fighting so they obviously won’t get that cold.
pps. who cares if kiera gets cold anyway coz shes a mole.
ppps. we also like arthur coz we just love a man who know how to control a sword like that (imagine what else he could do with those skills)
athighaa said,
June 2, 2007 at 2:55 am
i jst thnk owen is a gud actor
Belle said,
December 14, 2007 at 11:19 pm
You know sometimes you just have to enjoy a movie for itself.. whether or not it followed the real history, if your so into history and you expect to see all of it correctly. C’mon.. stick to documentaries. And if your so sure of what your reading is true, who knows.. maybe this movie is the correct way. And from all the movies I have seen, this is by FAR the best one. Greatly acted I was very impressed.