What rates a zero?
January 6th, 2003 at 4:03 pm (Uncategorized)
OK since I do not have any movie reviews for a movie that I would rate as a true and all out stinker let me open the floor for discussion. What have you seen that you thought was so base, so stupid, so utterly a waste of your time and money that in the great rating system you would not give it even a single star?
Flava said,
January 6, 2003 at 4:09 pm
Well, then I’ll get the ball rolling.
Ghost Ship: Horror, but not.
Fear.com: Log in, then walk out.
Ballistic: Ecks versus Sever: (shudder)
Phantom Menace: Just angry about this one.
Sorority Boys: Brainless sex humor, woohoo
Wing Commnder: How dare you do that to Chris Roberts!!!!
The Time Machine: Bad, bad, bad, bad. Almost Planet of the Apes bad.
Swordfish: Cool start, then PLUNGE!!!
Scary Movie 2: One was enough
Rollerball: Meh.
Red Planet: Huh? What was this about that I should care about?
A Knight’s Tale: I have no words, only tears.
Anaconda: Acting was sub-par. AHAHHAHAHAHA!
Hannibal: Book was decent, but this was a travesty.
Gosford Park: Still unsure if it is over, too afraid to go back into the den.
Godzilla: Blockbuster that busted.
Enough: J-Lo in “Sleeping with the Enemy”
Dungeons & Dragons: Laughable.
Bandits: Contorted, amusing, bland.
Adventures of Pluto Nash: (shakes head and moves on)
102 Dalmations: Glenn Close, you know better!!!!
Come on guys/gals, I know there’s more out there!
Leopoldo said,
January 6, 2003 at 4:36 pm
Not a lot of movies on this list that I have seen but lets see what I can say about it…
The Phantom Menace: Was very bad. I would not put it at zero. I think the trick is to separate the expectation (this is supposed to be part of the most sacred of sacreds, the freaking Star Wars series for Yoda’s sake!) from the movie. The movie was empty, devoid, wasted… but not all that bad.
Wing Commander: I only caught the last hour on TV… and I am glad that I did not waste any money or more time on it based on what I saw. Imaging my surprise at seeing Tchéky Karyo in this movie.. and my lack of surprise at seeing Freddie Prinze Jr. or Matthew Lillard.
Swordfish: Empty and bullheaded, a true popcorn flick. Not a zero for me though, it met my first criteria for a movie: I enjoyed myself watching it.
Scary Movie 2: Also devoid of content…
Hannibal: I was more shocked and disgusted that people were liking this movie than at the movie itself.
Gosford Park: I liked this movie. For me it was a who’s who of the best European actors of the new millennium.
Godzilla: Yeah, that pretty much sucked rocks.
Dungeons and Dragons: My favorite part is when the ‘queen’ says to her senate ‘Now is the time to act’ and my friend Aarron called out at the screen ‘Yes, why don’t you start!’
Flava said,
January 7, 2003 at 8:02 am
Phantom Menace: I could go on for hours, but I agree. What was probably a decent “stand alone” film just made me upset by not fulfilling any of my expectations going in. I have rewatched it since and still cannot force myself to like it, but only because it is Star Wars and I’m thinking, “NOOOOO!” It was a great first draft, George, I’ll give you that.
Gosford Park: Also, I think expectations hurt this movie for me. It recieved so much acclaim that I puffed it up in my head (my fault, of course) and imagined it to be hilarious, not witty, flawlessly scripted, not flawlessly acted, and sort of a quirky Woody Allen-esque mystery, not one of the most in depth, well developed who dunnits out there. It was a case of “I ordered a chili dog, not a plate of fried chicken!” The chicken’s great, but it’s not what I intended. I’ll make it a point to rewatch it.
Nick said,
January 13, 2003 at 3:51 pm
You would re-calibrate your zero if you’d ever seen Neon Maniacs or Biker Chicks in Zombie Town….
Leopoldo said,
January 13, 2003 at 3:57 pm
I would agree.. the zero category is reserved for the truly lowly, the worst of the worst, those pieces of crap that are put out and have no redeeming value. No movie has managed a zero rating yet because… well mainly because the site only went live on Dec 12 so there are only so many reviews up so far.. but also because the zero and the five are reserved scores for very special cases. I honestly hope that I do not have the misfortune to land a zero scored movie any time soon.
jbarrington said,
May 27, 2003 at 1:48 pm
“Killer Klowns from Outer Space” (1987)
I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I took the time to ever watch it. There are some movies that I can agree as being a basic form of bubblegum for the mind, but I can’t even do this for this movie.
“Bringing Out the Dead” (1999) with Nicolas Cage.
I love to rent and watch movies, and my range is pretty wide, but I watched this one for almost an hour and nothing happened. Nothing happened! I finally turned the movie off. This movie was not only depressing, it was hemoraging in a major boring way. I have yet to find a person that liked it.
WALLY said,
June 2, 2003 at 7:15 pm
THE MOST PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MOVIE EVER IS BLOOD LEGACY.STARRING JOHN CARRADINE, POTENTIAL EHHHH? I PAYED 99CENTS FOR IT AND STILL FEEL BETRAYED.DEAD RICH FATHER,FAMILY GATHERS IN OLD MANSION,PEOPLE START DISAPEARING. WHO DONE IT? DON’T KNOW, STARTED WATHING IT 3 TIMES AND CAN’T MAKE IT MORE THAN 30 MINUTES IN. ARGGGGGG!!!!!
dyingofluv said,
September 4, 2003 at 10:59 am
Dungeons & Dragons was, at least, an effort; you could see *some* potential in it; but it realllly sucked in a lot of places. Still I don’t think it quite deserves a zero. What does? ‘Get Over It,’ which is the most appalling mishmash of puerile teen garbage ever cobbled together in the name of Shakespeare. I’m sure the Bard is writhing in his grave.
whoflungdung said,
December 9, 2003 at 11:00 pm
What about the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre. That movie should get a zero. It is the worst movie I have ever seen. I dont see how so many people liked it. It sucked. There is nothing original. There are no scares at all. Honestly, whoever says the worst movie ever is something like the 2nd and 3rd matrix say that because they don’t understand those movies. Yoy have to pay attention to those the whole time because there are some things that appear that answer every question you have. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2003 sucks. Watch the original the original is far better.
KamirineGoddess said,
April 2, 2004 at 5:27 pm
Honestly, the worst movie I will admit to seeing (but don’t remember to well, which is probably a good thing) was Gigli with Jennifer Lopez and Ben A. The only good thing that came out of seeing it was listening to my friends jokes during the production.
I also loathed Bad Santa. I suppose it could have been funny but with all the cursing and such, after 30 minutes of it, I just wanted to walk out of the theature.
Werewolf said,
May 11, 2004 at 8:40 am
I thought Interview with the vampire was terrible. I think that Tom Cruise was a terrible Vampire and when Brad turned into a vamp he was stupid to roll alll over the freaken area. He overplayed that. And the Kirsten was a little B*&#@.
Movieman said,
June 6, 2004 at 11:24 pm
The Nutty Professor 2. The Klumps…..I cn not stand that movie. I am most upset that I waisted 2 hours of my life watching that, instaed of sleeping. That is a “0″ movie.
Dave said,
March 21, 2005 at 11:19 pm
What rates a zero? Hmm… lessee…
Dracula 2000: maybe this was where the Y2K bug actually ended up
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: how did they convince Sean Connery to be in this movie?
Van Helsing: the same way they convinced Hugh Jackman to be in this movie, I assume.
Hamlet (uh, the one with Ethan Hawke): on the other hand, Shakespeare might have actually been proud of the marketing nightmare this movie turned out to be … never thought about the possibility of the Ghost of Hamlet’s Father running into a Pepsi machine as a stage exit
Highlander 2, 3, …: There should have been only one…
Wing Commander: I actually felt my IQ drop for having viewed this movie, but it had the new Star Wars trailer before it.
Punisher said,
October 1, 2005 at 12:03 pm
Rollerball wasnt all that bad! It isnt the best film ive ever watched but its certainly not the worst! Havent you people heared of “Big trouble In Little China!?”